I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
only you would photoshop your dick
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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