The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
