her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
