I wannas sexs uuuuu
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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