so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
