They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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