I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
