wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
