Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize