So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
