That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize