i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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