i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
