I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
