Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
