how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
