i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
