she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are my feet made of real feet?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
