O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I could fuck to npr.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
