My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
