Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
