Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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