he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So many bounce houses so little time
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
