the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize