Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize