how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i now understand why vodka
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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