Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
