I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
