she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
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We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Come on in and take your pants off
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