So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
