Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs