if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn