John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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