If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
