Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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