OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
