what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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