There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
