i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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