I looked at my own cervix.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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