You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
