my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize