Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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