Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i out mim tonsoeep
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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