So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
