Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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