Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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