that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
