I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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