Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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