No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
