jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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