He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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