Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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