i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
how drunk are you?
Several
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
