My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
