his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
