i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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