I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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