Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i am craving dick and cupcakes
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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