everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
