Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
